theladyem:

godsdragongirl:

theladyem:

honestlycrazy:

theladyem:

homoerotics:

turningblacktables:

Well, this was a nice surprise to see featured on the BBC homepage.

Asexuality has been the subject of very few scientific studies which has led to speculation about why some people feel no sexual attraction.

“There are people who definitely view it as a disorder and are like ‘oh if we give you these pills we can fix it’. Or people who ask you ‘have you had your hormones checked’, as though that’s the obvious solution,” says Jenni.

“And then you get people who go one step worse, and I have been asked before if I had been molested as a child, which is not an appropriate question to ask somebody to be honest, and also I haven’t been. It was the assumption that ‘hey you have something wrong with you, clearly you were molested as a child’ is just such a terrible attitude to have.”

Hmm…that was my mom’s first reaction. We were on the phone, the conversation took a weird turn from how my day went to relationships or sex or something. I told her aces exist, and all through my past and up to the present, I can really relate to that. And her first reaction was to ask if it was because of this whole big medical thing that dealt with my girly parts really screwed up my middle/high school experience.

And then she proceed to tell me that she hopes I one day will understand what a good thing sex can be.

I…

….what. 

Oh, god, I’m so sorry! That’s really…ugh. You keep proving her wrong, girl.

#and you could always adopt if you decide you want kids

Exactly! I’ve never understood that preference for kids that HAVE to have your genes. kinda why i have a love/hate relationship with Once Upon a Time  Although, despite adoring kids, I couldn’t see that happening any time soon. Really. haha 

#or you could just be confirmed bachelorette mc-awesome pants and travel the world #needing neither spouse nor child to have fantastic adventure

AND THAT’S THE PLAN. hahaha 

Seriously. I agree completely with all of this. Em, you actually stating your affiliation with being asexual got me curious as to what it is, and the more I learn from you and other sources, the more strongly I feel that it fits me. I look at what my family’s reactions to my stances on relationships have been in the past, and its exactly like your moms. I’ve had many people tell me I’ll ‘change my mind later’ or that its ‘just a phase’ or its because “Well you’re a career woman, Hayden.” To me this serves to show that people are generally not comfortable with it. I even had my brother flat out ask if I was gay. Like. What. 

Because people aren’t understanding/comfortable, they fill in the blank with the most logical explanation- health conditions, life plan/career minded, phase, whatever.

Its ridiculous, especially since this is something I’ve felt my entire life. 22 years is a long time for a ‘phase’. 

*high fives* And yet ANOTHER way we’re alike! Have to admit- this doesn’t surprise me really hahaha

Although, if you think of it, it’s pretty odd how uncomfortable our society is with the idea of someone not wanting sex. Makes me wonder if our society has gone a little too far in it’s obsession with it.

Seriously, it’s like a crime to not want sex or think of the opposite sex (or same sex for those who believe in that). Sure it would be nice to have a boyfriend one day and yeah I have crushes/eye-candy I find appealing but really I am just not attracted that way to people. I’m for relationships with people but not that kind of physical relationship.

Maybe one day but right now. No. No. No. NO. Don’t change my mind for me and don’t harp about having sex to me. Yeah, I could change my mind but don’t say “You will” or “it’s just a phase” people have their own minds to make up. Right now I’ll just take care of other kids and congratulate friends who have them but right now, no.

Time will tell but don’t be assuming and laying it down in concrete that IT WILL CHANGE. There are plenty of single people out there who never dated or never married or what. They got stigmatized as “spinsters” like Miss Marple. Just because you’re single doesn’t mean you’re alone, seriously. Just seriously, don’t take about sex to me. Just. Don’t even. I thank God my mom doesn’t bring it up, rather I’m the one to joke “if I ever have kids” or “if you ever have grandkids” (lawl my sister having them. YOU NEVER KNOW. EVEN IF SHE CAN’T STAND THEM.) but who’s to rule out adoption? It’s a lot of money but heck, it’s a choice.

But I love my friends. Having a family in the future would be nice but so far my reaction is “maybe” or simply “meh”. I’ll enjoy wigging out over hot men without the sexual fantasies. And I’ll do it with my wonderful single friends (if any of you get a bf I will still hang with you). Respect others opinions. Just because we say “we’re not interested” means we’re gay/lesbos. UM. YAH RIGHT. WE ARE NOT. Men ARE appealing to us just not in *THAT* way. But there are those (the strict asexuals) who just are “meh” to everything. Kinda like being autistic and just not being able to feel that sexual attraction or just being interested in people that way. They just see people as people.

Either way, our society needs to lay off. They push for all sorts of stuff but when people don’t want to have sex they go: WWWOAH. FREAK OVER HERE. STAY AWAY. CONVERT THEM! CONVERT! CONVERT! *slaps stigma label on*

I’ll wear the “Spinster” title with pride if I turn out to be one of those. I’ll have my single friends to hang out with and probably a ton of cats that Hayden’s cats will have/she’ll lend them to me when she gains a hoard of corgis.

The world is weird. Period.